Just because.....

I had a conversation with a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago and she was deeply  upset and angry her smart medical doctor brother had proposed to a fellow medical doctor whom he  had been dating since medical school. No, She wasn't angry her brother was getting married. she was angry because her brother's fiancee had a child. A child she conceived right after high school, as a naive young woman . My friend  was angry because according to her "after all the money spent on his education, he has decided to stoop low and bring shame on our family by marrying a single mother". I was in shock. Shocked because I couldn't believe that my friend whom I know has a lot more skeletons in her wardrobe,  than Atan cemetery Yaba , could be so judgemental of another.
Just because a woman had a child before marriage, doesn't mean she's been 'easy or loose'  or  has been in bed with every Obinna, Kunle and Lukmon and therefore unmarriagable and the next woman seen as a 'good girl' because there is no evidence or proof of her sexual activities and therefore she possess a thousand yards of 'wife material'.
Just because you have been able to keep your extra marital affairs secret,  doesn't mean you are better off than the man who was caught pants down with his mistress.
Just because your side chic decided to have an abortion and your wife never found out you had been fooling around , makes you no better than that man his side chic bore a child for.
Just because your were able to steal that designer bag from that shop, doesn't mean you are a 'slay queen'. you really shouldn't call your friend a cheapskate because she purchased her bag from a high Street store .
Just because you were involved in that sham marriage and got a 'blue passport',  doesn't mean you aren't as dodgy(even a whole lot dodgier!) as that your friend who is working illegally.
Just because you drive that limited edition SUV you forcefully collected from your late brother's wife, doesn't make you any better than that armed robber whom snatches cars from his helpless victims.
Just because you bagged a second class upper after sleeping with your lecturers, the Dean of your faculty and even the Vice Chancellor, doesn't mean you should be rubbing it the face of that your friend who finished University with a 'let my people go' result .
Just because you decided to be a weakling and stay with your spouse who physically and emotionally abuses you and has knocked out eight of your teeth, even though you tell anyone who cares to listen you had an accident along Lagos/Ibadan expressway and she decides to separate from her spouse whom has abused her likewise, you label her a 'failed woman' .
Please show me one who is perfect? Before you start mouthing off about how you have never done this and would never do that and can't even imagine it, just know that you have at one point done something that would have made someone somewhere cringe and pass out at the mere thought of it. Oh really!  You have never done anything you shouldn't have done? For real?! Let's hope it stays that way for the rest of your life ☺.....  Just because your secrets remain secret and no one knows your atrocities(just yet!), it actually doesn't make you any better. kindly be mindful of how you react in every given situation. Be mindful of what you say to people who are caught up in unpleasant situations.

Feel free to think about it and even laugh and judge and mock about their situation, in your head . Let your sanctimonious thoughts remain in your head! And while you're at it though, look at your reflection in a full length mirror and remember  that one thing no one saw you do. Yes, all those things no one except you knows you did. Gracefully  put those yours secrets, your sins and your embarrassing shortcomings at the very top of that your 'terrible, sinful, disgraceful mortals' list . Just because, you might have to chew your words and bite your tongue someday....

I AM THE DUCHESS.